Originally published in print in September 2021.
Illustration by Eve Smith.
I’m a huge sports fan. Not only do I appreciate the showmanship and physical prowess of each and every participant, but I adore their rich backstories, the emotional journeys, and the sheer dedication that propelled each of them to the top of their fields. That’s why I spent my summer engrossed in a long-awaited cultural touchstone, a beacon of hope in these trying times, a competition running on talent and pure adrenaline: Love Island 2021.
If there was anything the world needed after the last 18 months of COVID-19, it was series seven of Love Island. The show follows a group of hot people in their twenties who are forced together for eight weeks with the sole purpose of going for gold and finding love (if “love” is a synonym for “Pretty Little Thing and Boohoo sponsorships”). Love Island is the exact antithesis of lockdown – a dozen strangers sharing one bedroom and bathroom, exchanging clothes, saliva and significant others. The kind of “bubble” I would much prefer living in.
The 2021 Tokyo Olympics and the hit ITV show served a similar purpose in this way. This summer, we faced a lot of uncertainty as to when we might see a return to some of our most important cultural cornerstones- football matches, live entertainment, shifting strangers in the smoking area. While we anxiously waited for them to return, we deserved to turn off our brains and tune in to a group of talented people achieving what the majority of us cannot, whether that’s a record-breaking backflip dive or a striptease suitable for early evening television.
It might seem strange to compare Love Island to the Olympics, but they are more similar than people think. Both feature intense physical feats. In Tokyo, Kellie Harrington won a gold medal for Ireland in boxing, while in Mallorca, Belfast babe Matt beautifully dealt his own blow in the swiftest break up in Love Island history. While rowers Fintan McCarthy and Paul O’Donovan worked together to win another gold medal for Ireland, the couples in Love Island were competing in fierce challenges of their own, such as raunchy talent shows and Spit Roast, where the objective is to spit the most food you can in your partner’s mouth. Such pressure and hardship must be a lot to swallow.
This wasn’t the only rigorous exercise the Islanders enjoyed this season. In fact, the boys were dedicated players and expert analysers. Every morning, the boys would gather around over iced coffees to discuss the fierce “football games” each played with their respective partners the night before. These were intense one-on-one matches, and the boys were delighted to share a walkthrough of each game, from the moment the “flood lights” turned on to when each player “scored”. Admittedly, they might not be the best players – there were quite a few mentions of hands-on contact for a soccer game, and the women seemed to have a lot more possession of the balls, while the men failed to match up. Typically, women are underappreciated on the football pitch.
Records were also broken on both islands – in Tokyo, American sprinter Allyson Felix broke the record for most medals won in track and field. In Mallorca, Love Island contestants Liberty Poole and Kaz Kwami broke weightlifting records for carrying the entire show on their backs for eight weeks straight. Meanwhile, Toby was breaking records for fastest man in the world after speeding through four different girlfriends in four weeks. Of course, Toby managed to redeem himself at the last hurdle, but he still had the fatal flaw of having a mother from Mayo and came second in the final.
In the end, the gold went to Millie and Liam, the romantic equivalent of stew. Credit must be given to Liam for his brilliant strategy – have the personality of a brick, kiss three girls the moment you’re away from your girlfriend, write one grovelling poem, and then come home with 25000 pounds. Not even Simone Biles could pull off such a flawless execution.
The true power couple, however, was undoubtedly Italy’s Gianmarco Tamberi and Mutaz Barshim of Qatar. Rather than fight for gold in a jump-off, the two high jumpers agreed to share the gold medal. No amount of dates or sickening declarations of love in the villa could hold a candle to the athletes’ heartfelt victory lap.
This summer was truly a whirlwind for any fans of intense competition, melodrama, and attractive people in tight uniforms. There were performances that we will be talking about for years to come, from the breathtaking gymnastics in Tokyo, to the mental gymnastics our Islanders performed to justify their poor romantic decisions. Such a thrilling season has only made me more excited for the Winter Olympics, or as I like to call it, The Great British Bake Off.
