It’s a Wednesday night and it’s raining. I’ve had a long day of trying to entertain myself during my two hours of classes. I wake up from my daily nap (my life is so hard) and the last thing I want to do is put on eyeliner and go out for dinner. The only thing that can possibly lure me out of my overpriced shitty terrace house is the promise of elephant and castle’s fantastic food.

So I put on my cropped leather jacket that my boyfriend’s mom gave me (thanks Karen!), put in my headphones and head out. The night was made perfect by the fact that I hadn’t yet listened to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album (already a TN2 fave, review incoming!).

 “And now that I take time to myself (that isn’t dedicated to being productive, but purely just empty space in my day for me to vegetate) I have actually become a much better friend. “

Libby, why are you going to dinner all by yourself?, I hear you ask. Well, I’ve recently started a new relationship…with myself. I’ve been in various relationships almost back to back since I was fifteen and I never got the chance to be alone, until now. I recently took a trip to London all by myself to see the Hilma Af Klint exhibition in the Tate Modern. And it wasn’t until I wore lipstick at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday in a place where I knew no-one would recognise me that I realised I never wanted to leave the house without red lipstick ever again. So I’ve been going to the cinema by myself, the theatre, the seaside. Instead of desperately scrambling for an acquaintance I have nothing in common with to hang out with if I ever have an hour gap in my schedule, I’ve actually started saying no to plans. Not because I already have plans with somebody but simply because I love to be alone. And now that I take time to myself (that isn’t dedicated to being productive, but purely just empty space in my day for me to vegetate) I have actually become a much better friend. Because now when I hang out with people, it’s not because I feel I have to, or because I’m scared to say no or scared to be alone, it’s because I genuinely want to spend time with that person.

Elephant and Castle is one of those spots that you really can’t call yourself a foodie in Dublin until you’ve eaten there. Swanky lighting is balanced by a plethora of leafy plants that makes you feel like you’re eating in an upmarket jungle. The restaurant is of the genre of ones that I never feel like I belong in. Especially Coming from a Not Rich family in Waterford, where you had to drive two hours to Cork to go for a Fancy Meal in Milano’s. In Elephant and Castle, the menu is written in cursive, it’s full of luxurious, decadent food. Olives, goat’s cheese, spaghetti, lime chicken, locally brewed lager, Prosecco, hummus, pomegranate. But for all of its trendiness, the atmosphere is pleasantly casual. Parents and young kids equally enjoy the tangy spicy chicken wings. Sitting beside me is another loner like myself. A youngish man with a ponytail treating himself to a beer and a burger. There are groups of blonde girls enjoying cocktails and giggles and middle aged couples with &Other Stories shopping bags chatting about how work is going. On a Wednesday evening, Elephant and Castle is not trying to pretend it’s a Saturday night, the vibe is relaxed which makes it the perfect place for a Big Treat all by yourself.

“There’s something very satisfying about being a twenty year old young woman with a massive burger and massive glass of red wine sitting in front of you, knowing you’re going to look very unflattering for the next fifteen minutes as you demolish the thing. “

I ordered the homemade veggie burger that comes with GORGEOUS melted vintage cheddar and lime mayonnaise and hand cut fries. There’s something very satisfying about being a twenty year old young woman with a massive burger and massive glass of red wine sitting in front of you, knowing you’re going to look very unflattering for the next fifteen minutes as you demolish the thing. Yes I ate it all with my hands, as is only required of me when eating burgers and chips. My only disappointment is that they only had one vegetarian dish per section of the menu, which made me feel like it was rather tokenistic. I don’t know much about wine but the house red was gorgeous (La Coste Rouge, 8.20 per glass, for all the winos out there) and the pour was generous. The staff were as lovely as they were efficient.

Treating yourself to a fancy meal is intimidating. At time in the meal, I felt the urge to take out my phone and call my mom or scroll on instagram but I resisted the urge. I sat with the discomfort and focused on the jazz music and beautiful food in front of me. If you want to get better at ‘dating yourself’, don’t start with going to a restaurant alone! Instead, take yourself to a cute coffee shop. Don’t bring your laptop or your headphones. Instead, give yourself a full hour to be ‘unproductive’. Read the romance novel you’ve been dying to sink your teeth into or journal about what your dream life looks like. From there, you can build your confidence up bit by bit. Next week perhaps you’ll go see that movie in the cinema that you know your boyfriend would hate. Treat yourself to a popcorn with melted butter on top. Soon enough, little events and adventures will start popping up all over the place, and you’ll be in a committed relationship with treating yourself!

Enjoy x

Libby

WORDS: Libby Marchant