UPPERS
#RIHunited: Rihanna knows how to make a comeback. After an agonising six month hiatus, BadGalRiRi made a glorious return to Instagram with photos of her absurd warrior turtle Halloween costume and her delightful impressions of Olivia Pope on a visit to the White House. In other excellent Rih-related news, she told ELLE she wants a “big trimmed d***!” for Christmas. BadGal for President.
Wes Anderson’s theme park: Imagine the most whimsically melancholic, symmetrically-composed rollercoaster of your life. Anderson’s longtime musical collaborator launched speculation earlier this month that he and the director are planning to build a theme park together, promising that “the visitor will be amused and frightened, often simultaneously”.
Too Many Cooks: Just watch it — and stay for the full eleven minutes. It’s worth it.
Drone Boning: “The plan was to take beautiful landscapes, and just put people fucking in them,” explains the filmmaker. The result, shot entirely using aerial drones, turned out to be eerily striking.
Mary Katrantzou x Adidas Originals: The cult designer adds her signature kaleidoscopic touch to a range of digitally-printed bomber jackets, sporty neoprene dresses, and trainers — ideal for Katrantzou fans hoping to pick up one of her unique pieces for a fraction of the price. On sale now at BT2.
Bad Sex in Fiction Award: This year’s shortlist daringly includes both Booker Prize winner Richard Flanagan and literary giant Haruki Murakami. Choice excerpts include: “She was as hot as boiling water in a distillation flask”, and “My beast, finally released from its cage, sprang up wildly.”
DOWNERS
No todger in Fifty Shades: Let’s be real about why we want to see Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s not for the enduring romance, the reflections on love in a modern world, or the witticisms of the script. It’s for the sex. However, Jamie Dornan revealed in a recent Guardian interview that viewers won’t be seeing his “todger”. What is this movie?
Landing strip-inspired hair: Robert Pattinson has gone and gotten himself an unusual bowl cut, jazzed up with a bikini-waxing pattern in the back. He’s come so far.
Lumbersexual: A new term for the rugged outdoorsman, complete with beard and flannel, formerly known as the Urban Woodsman or the humble Hipster. In other words: not a thing.
Kim K haters: Hey, did you hear about Kim Kardashian’s bum on the cover of Paper? The entirely predictable eye-rolling response raised questions about what kinds of naked bodies we celebrate and what kinds we dismiss as “tacky”, “fake” and “disempowered”. But the rarely-seen goofy expression in Kim’s nudes clearly shows the fun she’s having with her own image. That face! You’ve got me.
