Back in September, a friend and I sat down for a chat. He told me that he was becoming increasingly frustrated with how lockdown was limiting his ability to meet new love interests (my phrasing, not his). My friend explained that while he was still able to message girls over Tinder and Bumble, meeting up with multiple people from outside his usual social circle just didn’t feel appropriate given the circumstances (*ahem* Corona *ahem*), and that asking someone he didn’t really know if they wanted to FaceTime or Zoom just felt plain weird.
Later that day, I couldn’t help but stew over what my friend told me, and so I reached out to some other singles I know and learnt that they’d been having much the same experience. Thus, the TN2 Magical Matchmaking Service was born!
The TN2 Magical Matchmaking Service was designed to help willing singles meet someone new in a healthcare-guideline-compliant manner. We, as an editorial team, matched participants based on sexual-orientation; relationship experience; personal interests; top turn-ons and turn-offs; and a bunch of miscellaneous information besides (like, as a fourth year, would you be up for dating a fresher?). In order to try and ensure that our little service would produce multiple instances of true love, not only did we get the singles to fill in an EXTENSIVE Google Form, but, once we had identified potential matches, we made them sit down and chat with us before we let them meet their potential dates.
When I say ‘meet,’ I do have to remind you – though I’m sure the experience is seared into your memory – that we did enter Level-5 for quite a long chunk of this semester. We gave the participants the option to either have a Zoom date with as much of a twist as we could manage, or to postpone the date until we were allowed to hold it in person. Most of the couples opted for immediate Zoom dates (I imagine purely because they were fed up of seeing my name in their email inbox), and our first couple is one who did just that…
Names:
John*
Mary-Jane (MJ)*
Gender Identity:
J: Male
MJ: Female
Sexual Orientation:
Both: Heterosexual
Year:
J: 4th
MJ: 3rd
Faculty:
Both: AHSS
What are three key qualities which you look for in a partner?
J:
- ‘Cracking sense of humour – I mean, they actually have to laugh, not just say “that’s funny” when you make a joke.’
- The ability to not take themselves too seriously.
- ‘I need to be physically attracted to them – I know that physical attraction is entirely subjective.’
MJ:
- Humour
- Passion
- Honesty
What are your three biggest ‘turn-offs’ in a partner?
J:
- ‘They take the skin off kiwis before eating them – that is a dealbreaker.’
- ‘If they’re duplicitous – I cannot respect someone who is afraid to be themselves.’
- ‘Being racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.’
MJ:
- Smoking
- Lack of enthusiasm
- ‘Too much seriousness’
What are your greatest attributes?
J: ‘Where to start? I pride myself on my ability to make people laugh – both with me and at me. I’m also quite tender and patient. I’m compassionate in that I understand we all have something wrong with us – even Tom Cruise knows he’s short and nuts. While I’m not an especially nasty person, I do enjoy the odd spot of schadenfreude.’
MJ: ‘I’m funny (I hope), creative, energetic, optimistic, ambitious.’
What are a few of your interests?
J: ‘Sport – I’m much better at watching than playing – but I play tennis and touch rugby and will watch pretty much anything (except cricket and Formula 1; they are just awful sports). I love music, especially Foals, The Weeknd and Childish Gambino, and I (poorly) play guitar. I’m also hugely into comedy.’
MJ: ‘Literature, writing (journalistically and sometimes creatively), film (Star Wars, Marvel, La La Land, Jordan Peele films, Knives Out, Midsommar), tv (I’ve recently been watching: The Haunting of Bly Manor, Avatar: The Last Airbender, New Girl, How I Met Your Mother), drama and acting, analysing things too deeply lol, music (Twenty One Pilots, Sasha Sloan, PVRIS, The 1975, MARINA, Childish Gambino), fashion, online content production, TikTok!, social media, and field hockey.’
When were you last in a relationship?
J: ‘Haha, good one.’
MJ: ‘I’ve never been in a serious relationship – the closest I was to one was a verrry casual long-distance “thing” for about 8 months last year.’
When did you last go on a date?
J: March.
MJ: February.
Why do you want to take part in this process?
J: ‘The latest round of lockdown will be lonely enough, and I thought that this would be a good way to pass the time.’
MJ: ‘I thought it’d be something fun (and scary) to do for lockdown! I haven’t done anything romantic related in a long time (no dating apps) so I thought I’d put myself out there for the laugh.’
Do you believe that the Covid-19 pandemic has detrimentally affected your love life?
J: Oh yeah. I come into my element at in-person conversation, meeting girls in pubs or at house parties, so the last 8 months have proven quite tricky.
MJ: ‘Yes and no – I feel like without it I *might* have had more of a chance to develop that long-distance thing I had, or to have met more potential love interests. But, I’d imagine that, that long distance fling would have faded nevertheless. Also, I am not someone who regularly ventures into the dating world anyway – I tend to find people by chance – so I more than likely would be in the same situation.
On a scale of 1-10 (ten being most keen, how keen are you to currently meet someone?
J: 7
MJ: 6
Why did we match Mary-Jane and John, you ask?
For starters, as neither of the two had previously been in a serious relationship, we didn’t want to match either John or Mary-Jane with someone whose previous extensive relationship experience was of huge significance for them. We also felt that the pair had a large number of similar interests, such as sport and music. Finally, I’m sure you would agree that both Mary-Jane’s and John’s striking senses of humour are clear even in just their form responses. These respective capacities for humour were something which continued to shine through when we chatted with them prior to their date.
Anyway, let’s see how they felt their date went when we caught up with them a week later…
What were your first impressions of your date?
J: ‘She seemed open, which is obviously positive. Sometimes people can be shy or reserved when meeting new people – she was far from it. She was also very engaging.’
MJ: ‘That he wasn’t my type, physically? I say that with a question mark because I wasn’t really sure if I had a type, but it was weirdly one of the first things I thought. It didn’t turn me off though.’
Did these impressions change as the date progressed? If so, how?
J: ‘No: she remained very friendly and interested as the date went on – willing to develop on some of the topics we were bringing up.’
MJ: ‘Yes! While I realised I had a “type,” I did know that if I get on with someone or think they’re cool, I forget about looks – their interests and their personality become more intriguing. In this case, that did happen.’
Did your date live up to/defy any expectations that you had when signing up for the process. If so, how?
J: ‘I’d say I was pleasantly surprised. I always big up these things in my head to the extent that I’m usually disappointed because the person can’t hit the high bar I set.’
MJ: ‘It defied my expectations that it would be awkward. I feel that there weren’t any weird moments or silences, and that was really great.’
Describe one thing you particularly liked/like about your date:
J: ‘Her enthusiasm for the hobbies, tv shows, and music I like.’
MJ: ‘His interests – even though we didn’t have everything in common, I loved it when he talked about what he was into because I could tell he really cared about what he does and likes.
Why do you think that you were matched with your date?
J: ‘We have very similar interests.’
MJ: ‘Because of how passionate we are about things we like – our interests in literature, Childish Gambino, creating online content, and maybe sport?’
Would you like to see your date again? Why/why not?
J: ‘I think so. I’d prefer to get to know her more beforehand though.’
MJ: ‘Yeah sure! He’s sound, and I would love to chat more!’
What is the current status of things between you and your date?
J: ‘We’ve been texting pretty regularly.’
MJ: ‘We are kind of talking on Instagram – we had a conversation over a few days, but we’ve stopped right now. I find texting culture so stressful sometimes, so I don’t know if we’re going to talk again, but I’d like to! If I muster up the courage, I may text him again!’
Could you see this status changing in the future? How? Why?
J: ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’
MJ: ‘Maybe with Covid-19 rules changing, we could see each other on campus sometime soon. I think it’d be cool to meet in person.’
I don’t know about you, but I think that there is the potential for a bright future between Mary-Jane and John! Only time will tell…
Oh, and in case you were wondering how the pair felt that Covid-19 had impacted their experience:
How did the Zoom format affect your date?
J: ‘I prefer meeting people in-person, so it was a slight hindrance.’
MJ: ‘I thought it would be weird, but I’m actually so used to meeting new people on Zoom at this point with college groups and all, that it was grand! Obviously, it’d be easier to read each other’s body language and things like that in person, but it was good.’
Do you think that your answers to any of these questions would be different if this process had taken place B.C. (before Covid-19)? How? Why?
J: ‘I honestly don’t know.’
MJ: ‘No, not really! I think they’d be quite similar because despite the date not happening in person, it didn’t feel too different from a normal date. On a date, you are ultimately focused on the other person and/or how they perceive you – that’s still your focus on Zoom!’
*Names have been changed to protect the participants’ identities.
