Romance in any form of literature is often dramatised, heightened, and intended for you to gain some sort of lesson about love by the end of it, whether it be positive or negative. The myth of romance portrayed in some young adult books leads to a toxic depiction to young people of relationships. The tale of star-crossed lovers destined to “save” each other is a tale as old as time. Romeo and Juliet is probably the most famous love story in the world, and it’s hardly a love story at all, it’s a tragedy. Anyone who has studied English at some point in their lives will know this – so why is this tale of two teenagers who get overly involved and die considered the epitome of romance? I believe the problem with romance literature can be traced directly back to the idea that Shakespeare was trying to convey – an idea that has been picked up, tangled and confused in the heads of young people ever since.
The problem in Romeo and Juliet is not a unique narrative that died in the Elizabethan age. This idea of salvation or redemption through monogamous romantic love is an idea that continues to haunt young adult fiction today. I’m looking at you The Hunger Games, The Mortal Instruments and The Twilight Saga, and let’s also not forget the absolute bizarre romanticisation of Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. I don’t know about anyone else, but hanging out in a graveyard should be a very clear red flag waving in your direction. You’d think it’d be pretty obvious that if someone you’re dating tries to kill you, you should probably leave. But this is what is so toxic about these novels – they portray the idea that if you simply love your partner and they love you, you will be able to save them in the end, and overcome whatever evil forces are impeding you.
Okay, I’m willing to acknowledge that these instances are dramatised to keep you engaged, and to further the plot. In The Mortal Instruments, Jace is controlled by Sebastian and the two of them effectively kidnap Clary. When Sebastian is dead, all goes (relatively) back to normal. Similarly, in The Hunger Games, President Snow brainwashes Peeta, and despite him thinking his sole purpose was to kill Katniss, she stands by him, and, eventually, they live as close to happily ever after as they can. Again, in Twilight, Edward overcomes his desire to murder Bella, and despite multiple near death experiences, Bella stands by the relationship. I want to be clear that I am in no way poking fun at any of these young adult books; I personally like each one of these and many more like them, but there is definitely a problematic undercurrents in these texts, which is that love, for these teenage girls, is worth the actual pain each one of them go through. We see Katniss mentally tortured by what is done to Peeta, we see Clary actively try and save Jace to her own peril, and we literally see Bella beg Edward to stay with her again and again. What I’m trying to get at here is that sometimes, those glaringly obvious red flags are red flags, pure and simple. There’s no romanticisation (or there shouldn’t be), especially in an instance where someone wants to kill you.
While these novels are intentionally dramatised, and are essentially fictional scenarios that are unlikely to actually materialise in real life, there is absolutely no denying the fact that the message of staying with your partner, regardless of what they do to you is present. And I’m sure most of you will agree, that the promotion of this idea can be extremely toxic to young adult readers. No, your boyfriend or girlfriend probably won’t turn around and try to kill you one day, but a major problem in these texts is that it’s almost seen as the partner’s duty to “fix” their partner. You are not required to fix anyone you’re in a relationship with, and it’s not their responsibility to try and fix you. That is not how healthy relationships work. Of course, in any relationship it is important that you and your partner support each other, but never to the point where it causes either of you serious harm. I see it recreated again and again in books, on tv, in films, and it is so inaccurate and not at all what we should be portraying romance as. While The Hunger Games and The Mortal Instruments are dystopian fiction, the depiction of romance, particularly when aimed towards young people, should be a little more romantic and less “stabby.” It’s just not a good message to be sending to young and impressionable audiences.
Again, I want to clarify that these books are not the whole problem, and are probably not even aware of just how damaging the ideas they are propagating are, considering how deep-rooted we often are in our ideas of what love should look like. How romance is portrayed has led to a distorted image for young people, and from my own experiences and that of my friends, it has become an overarching problem with how they approach romance and relationships. We tend to see desire as the ultimate part of any romantic relationship, when, in reality, other things are far more important. Things like friendship, mutual understanding and respect are far more important in relationships, and I feel like this is something that always comes after the fact in these novels. It’s certainly not always the case in young adult fiction, but the idea that either person in a relationship needs to save the other is not right, and is not a message we should be trying to portray to young people.
