Recently, the Science Gallery treated us to a four month long exhibition on intimacy. Featuring a range of exhibits, panels, and interactive events, the exhibition aimed to open up conversations on intimacy and its many forms. Given its theme, I knew this exhibition would be popular from the start, and this was confirmed at the opening night when over 1600 people requested tickets- compared to the average 700 requests. There is a hunger in Ireland for talking about sex and intimacy, and more so for a safe space to feel our way around this new language in our country. Sexuality was demonised in Ireland for centuries, and as we now navigate a world where the language around sex, sexual assault, gender and differing sexualities is expanding, Ireland is keen to join in.
I spoke on a total of five sold out panels, and also braved a first time attempt at discussing my research in a stand up comedy format at Bright Club, which held a sex themed event at the exhibition. These panels looked at a diverse range of topics within intimacy. First up was a Sunday afternoon panel speaking about sex, intimacy and disability. Moderated by playwright and journalist Louise Bruton, writer Niamh O’Donoghue discussed the challenges of navigating intimacy as she experienced scoliosis. Louise spoke about reactions to her wheelchair and the assumptions made by journalists that people were turned off by it, leading her to write a play about having sex. I focused on issues exploring a healthy safe sex life with an invisible illness such as depression. It was a shocking moment for the audience to learn of the racist, classist and gendered history of forced sterilisation of individuals with mental health issues worldwide.
On the next panel we discussed consent with Noeline Blackwell from the Rape Crisis Centre, and the creators of SMART consent classes Padraig McNeela and Siobhan O Higgins. An extremely timely topic, we spoke about the impact of the Belfast and Cork rape trials, and how the consent classes in third level education have gone from controversial to oversubscribed, with an even gender split. We also raised the issue that minorities under-report sexual assault, and vulnerable populations such as sex workers and trans people have additional obstacles to overcome in order to interact with services.
Next up was another timely panel, as we discussed intimacy in the digital age. Nicola Fox Hamilton spoke about her PhD work looking at dating apps such as Tinder, and how users present themselves on their profiles, while anthropologist A. Jamie Saris spoke about the evolution of dating from an anthropological perspective. Kris Gowen, author and sex educator, spoke about how we are now being overwhelmed with choice on dating apps – but this isn’t always a good thing! We also discussed how the media over sensationalises the use of dating apps, the use of sex robots, and revealed that the largest group of users on Tinder is the 18-25 age group.
Panel number four was themed around desire – how to explore it, and how to navigate it if it is non-normative. Speaking alongside Shawna Scott (owner of sexsiopa.ie) and Andre Venchard (MA in Sexuality Studies), we spoke about how to communicate desire to potential sexual partners, and to yourself. Andre discussed the wealth of alternative communities in Ireland such as the polyamory community, and Shawna spoke about customers buying their first vibrator in their 50s and 60s and finally experiencing orgasms, and how difficult this can be to discuss with friends.
My final panel was on porn, again another area where Ireland has not had healthy, objective conversations. Moderated by artist and sex educator Lu Sobario, I spoke alongside sex worker and director of Sex Worker Alliance Ireland Kate McGrew. We addressed common myths around porn content and consumption, queer/feminist porn and how porn research can be an ideological battlefield, producing unethical research. Arguing for a calm conversation on porn, we spoke about how media sensationalism does not help us openly discuss porn, and how negative stereotypes can directly impact sex workers through stigmatisation. And yes, Ireland does have porn performers!
All panels had a Q & A section, which was critical to have so that people could access an open space to ask their questions in a society that often does not permit this. The audiences’ questions were thought provoking and sincere, and allowed for further in depth conversation.
It was also refreshing to have the panels function as an open discussion instead of a typical format of two opposing sides arguing their points. This approach means a calm, prolonged discussion that is productive instead of combative and allowed for a nuanced conversation that is often excluded by a ‘debate’ format.
My favourite part about the panels was that the speakers were qualified to discuss the topics at hand. Far too often in Ireland we see people who are not experienced or qualified to speak on sexuality related matters, whereas in other fields we would not accept this. Many of the speakers at Intimacy had masters degrees or PhDs in Sexuality studies, or worked extensively in this area. Sexuality should be treated the same as other other topic, with qualified experts offering sound knowledge on the topic, in an open, objective way. This is crucial if we wish to move away from narratives of shame and stigma, and work towards a healthy society where sexual pleasure is normalised, consensual, and celebrated safety. Ireland has for far too long stigmatised sex for pleasure, sex outside of marriage, non heteronormative sexualites, and gone as far as locking women in Magdalene laundries for exploring their sexual lives. We must also hold the media to account and move away from sensationalist headlines that attempt to squash the vibrancy and complicated nature of sex and sexuality into a screaming headline that perpetuates fear and stigma. It’s time for a new approach to conversations on sexuality in Ireland, and I hope the exhibition has provided a launch pad for many of them.
Bio:
Caroline West is completing her PhD in porn and feminism, and also holds an MA in Sexuality Studies. She is also a guest lecturer in sexuality studies at DCU, and can be found at @CarolineWest_IE on Twitter.
