NSA ONLY! QUICK FUCK! CAN ACCOM!
For those of us who have fallen into the dark hole that is Grindr, we’ve been met with these terms before. Hook-up culture and casual sex predominate among young people. For some, this sexual gratification is all we yearn and seek. Whether it’s pulling a girl in Coppers on a Tuesday night, or arranging a quick shag in your parents’ garage over Tinder – either way, many of us have found ourselves picking our underwear up off some stranger’s stained carpet to creep out into the early morning light. But why is “No Strings Attached” (NSA) sex so prevalent today? Sex is a human need and desire which many of us can’t help but give into. A mixture of social norms and Catholic guilt caused non-marital sex to become linked with evil tendencies in the past. Lust itself is considered one of the seven deadly sins. But why is this natural thing, which no one can help, considered so bad?
Thankfully, society’s perception of sex is beginning to shift. The sex positivity movement, which has been spurred on in the last couple of decades, has led to a huge increase in happier relationships and better sex. Sex is starting to become less of a taboo and we are FINALLY starting to have open conversations about it. Thanks to this more positive outlook, we have seen a separation of sex and love. Sex is a natural human need. Love is a natural human emotion. Are they connected? Yes. Are they mutually inclusive? No! Casual sex has allowed us to experiment and develop our sexual desires and practices without the pressure of relationships and love on top of it. Young people today are starting to realise this. They’re happy to go out and get their bit and not worry about falling in love the next morning. But does this mean we’re giving up on love and relationships? Personally, I don’t think so.
I think for too long we’ve associated sex with committed relationships. There’s absolutely no reason why two consenting adults can’t enjoy having sex without either of them seeking a further commitment from the ordeal. Some people, however, believe that hook-up culture and NSA relationships are having a negative impact on relationships in general. You’ve often heard some girl proclaim that she can’t find a man because all the boys her age want to do is get their bit and go off about their business. And maybe she’s right, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. There is a constant weight of pressure placed on young people to get their life in ‘order’ according to the traditional ideals created by society. We’re expected to go to college, get a job, get married, have children and retire. And we’re constantly being pushed towards the next stage. How often have we had an aunt or a grandparent pressure us by hitting us with a “so any boyfriend at the moment?” or some other prying question? It’s incredibly annoying and quite frankly a bit fucking weird. Why are we in such a rush to settle down? Why not enjoy our youth while we have it? Life’s too short not to have a fling or two. When the time to settle down comes around, you’ll know it and you’ll be ready for it. Don’t worry!
Gay culture has a particular fondness for casual sex. For many years it was the closest thing we had to love and relationships. Cruising, cottaging (meeting men in bathrooms) and pulling at a gay bar have been permanent features of the community for centuries. With the advent of technology and the creation of apps such as Grindr and Tinder, the gays have taken it a step further. For some reason, the idea of casual sex is normalised in the gay community. Does everyone do it? Of course not, and that’s okay! But the point I’m making is that there’s no restrictions or judgment of those who do partake in the casual hanky-panky without the need for countless dry dates beforehand. Does it stop gay people from getting married or starting families? Absolutely not! Clearly the presence of NSA culture hasn’t had any major impact on gay relationships or love, so why should it on any other person?
Hook-up culture is not some new trend. With the availability of dating apps, it’s possible that we’re bringing the idea out into the light but, hunty, your mamma was just as raunchy back in the day as you are today. Further, as a society we’re becoming better at talking about sex and we’re starting to realise that it’s not some strange and taboo subject. It’s important to enjoy our youth while we can and if that means heading out to the George on a Thursday night to get your bit, honey, you do you! Life’s short and relationships come and go. Don’t be afraid to have sex in the meantime.
