Photo by Harsh Gupta  on Unspash.

The week of the 3rd – 7th of October marks Sex Week in Trinity College. A week heralding positive views of love, sex, and equality. In keeping with this trend, I thought that maybe I have something to offer. Well, I do. But do I want to expose myself?

I am a solo male pornstar.

But I hate the term ‘pornstar’. It conjures images of blonde female models, California, and a whole industry based on sexism, and control. Not for me.

However, technically, as I have been paid, I fall into that bracket. Ooohhh, I hear you think ‘paid’? Readers, don’t get your hopes up. Within a year of starting my work, I have only begun to receive payment in July. Since then, I have made a whopping four dollars and eighty four cents. For a lot of time and effort, that’s not great. In fact you could say that it’s less than great!

Why bother then? Let me clarify; I am a straight male making porn for a predominantly male audience. I am not getting paid enough to warrant the process, and most of my videos are free. (I never really bothered with the Onlyfans or paysite type jobs).

It sounds like a cliché, but the work is good for one’s confidence. It’s good fun to have the mindset: ‘I’m going to be buck naked for this whole website to see’ (should they choose to watch of course). I mean if they like it, that’s what porn is there for, and if they don’t like it, big deal. I have yet to get anything close to a negative comment on my approximately 25 videos, amassing a grand total of sixty five thousand views.

Of course it’s kind of awkward setting up the camera, fixing the scene, and acting out something that you hope people will enjoy, but you have to be in a specific mood for the act. After practice, you do get over the inherently cringy nature of it, eventually. (I still haven’t gotten the hang of dirty talking to the camera though!)

Homemade solo scenes involve a deceptive amount of planning. Creativity is required. You have to vary your content somewhat to keep people interested. A very challenging task. I have had the most success with my pillow humping videos, something which I didn’t expect, but proof of the audience’s desire for slightly more alternative porn.

I take the occasional request from other users on the website on what sort of videos they would like to see. It’s tricky. I mean, I wouldn’t be freaked out by much, but when someone asks to see a self-facial, there is a considerable amount of planning involved. Ultimately, I don’t know what I really expect from the whole fiasco, only that I feel like I’m making the industry a little bit more accessible. Despite many websites being so fixed on fake actors, mass production, and perfect figures, both male and female, I try to offer something different. In other words I’m just fed up with the same old stuff, so I thought I’d do something about it. (Even if it is in an extremely small way). Hopefully by promoting some degree of equality, making porn more appropriate to a larger audience. Men watch solo female porn,  so why shouldn’t women watch solo male porn? And if women want to do that, there should be a similar selection of videos for them to choose from. But there is not the same level of variety of content. Not even close.

I suppose that’s my reason for uploading my porn. But not a week goes by where I get terrified at the thought of a co-student, or a friend, or a relative, stumbling upon one of my videos. I mean, it could destroy a friendship in a heartbeat. Even in the future, would an employer hire a porn actor? No matter what qualifications I may have, that would be the fact that would stand out about me. Most people would see me in a negative light as a result. This is the taboo I am confronted with. The risk.

I don’t know what way my channel may go. Am I overly concerned? No. I’ll see how it goes. It’s a weird experience, shrouded in secrecy, but I’ll take it for what it is. An experience.

I would give my profile and website now for anyone interested, but I’m afraid there’s no way I’m taking the chance…Not yet at least…xxx