A: Abortion

Abortion is the ending of a pregnancy by removal of the fetus or embryo before it is viable, a medical procedure at the centre of considerable debate and prohibited in Ireland by the 8th Amendment. The ‘Repeal the 8th’ movement has resulted in an abortion referendum set for May 2018 – make sure you are registered to vote to ignite social change in Ireland.

B:  Birth Control

Birth control is an essential component to safe sex, and no, it’s not just the pill and condoms. Other methods include abstinence (but, c’mon), hormonal contraception by implant, patch or injection; the vaginal ring, diaphragm, spermicide, and IUDs (intrauterine device or coil). It’s important to talk to your doctor about which methods best suit your body in order to minimise potential side effects.

C:  Consent

Any parties engaging in sexual activity need to ensure that they have each other’s permission and enthusiastic engagement, whether you’re joining an orgy, sexting, or anything in between. A major part of consent is just human decency and common sense; if you’re about to have sex, make sure your partner is of sound mind to say yes or no. You can revoke your consent at any time for any reason, so if you no longer want to go through with any kind of sexual activity then you can say no, whether you’re with a new partner or in a long-term relationship.

D: Demisexual

Falling under the asexual spectrum, to be demisexual or demiromantic is to experience attraction only when there’s a strong emotional bond or connection present. Demisexuals can be gay, straight, pan or bi!

E: Endometriosis

The endometrium is the layer of tissue lining the inside of the uterus which swells during pregnancy and is shed in menstruation. With endometriosis, this layer grows outside the uterus, around the ovaries, fallopian tubes etc. It can result in infertility and pain during menstruation or intercourse, but it is treatable..

F: Fetish

A fetish, technically speaking, is anything you’ve got a sexual preoccupation with that’s not genitalia. Whether you’re into leather, lace or anything in between, you may well have a fetish or two, you naughty thing, you!

G: Gender identity

Assigned sex ≠ gender identity ≠ gender expression

Gender identity is not what’s between your legs, it’s what’s between your ears – it’s how you experience your gender. When this matches with the sex you were assigned at birth, you’re cisgender. When it doesn’t, it can mean you’re nonbinary, genderqueer or transgender.

H: HIV

HIV (human immunodeficiency virus)  is a virus which leads to HIV infection, and in some cases over time, AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). This attacks the immune system continually, so that that someone living with the disease will find it difficult to fight off even common illnesses. It is a sexually transmitted infection (STI), which can be contracted during intercourse without a condom with an infected person, through blood contact and from a mother to an unborn child. Retroviral treatments have improved since the AIDS crisis of the 1980s; it is now possible to get your viral load to an undetectable level, at which stage HIV is untransmittable. It is important to always use condoms to prevent against STDs and get regularly tested. The sooner an STD is detected, the better the outcome.

I:  Intimacy

Intimacy is an emotional closeness with someone. It could be described as the connection with someone’s soul. Intimacy is not sex. It is not being naked, but rather a complete sense of personal openness, and shared reciprocity. It is the thoughts you have at 3am when all you want is to be alone in the universe with that person, and sometimes feel that you already are.

J: Jealousy

Jealousy is an emotion typical in all forms of human relationships, rooted in fear and insecurity. Sexual jealousy can be dangerous, unhealthy or violent. On the flip side, some people find the arousal of jealousy to be erotic, which is known as zelophilia.

K: Kinsey Scale

In the late 1940s, Dr Alfred Kinsey came up with the first scale used to define sexual attraction. Ranging from 0 to 6, where 0 describes being entirely heterosexual with no gay experiences or desires, 6 is entirely homosexual with no straight experiences or desires, and 3 is the ‘true’ bisexual in the middle. The Kinsey scale has its critics, but it was a starting point for a more academic and less moralistic look at human sexuality.

L: Lube

Personal lubricant is designed to reduce friction and ease penetration during sex. Often regarded as being mostly useful for anal, lube is actually a smart addition to any sexual encounters because more lubrication reduces the possibility of micro-tears in delicate places, which might otherwise make you more susceptible to STIs. Different types of lube work better in different scenarios – for example, oil-based lubricants can impair condoms and silicone-based lube can cause issues with silicon-based sex-toys.

M: Masturbation

Masturbation, or self-pleasure, is a normal part of sexuality and is a behavior observed in humans of all ages, and animals. It’s often the earliest sexual behavior we engage in, and a great way to learn about what turns you on, what feels good and how best to get off.

N: Nymphomania

Do not get this confused with necrophilia, please. Nymphomania is a term which applies to females with a hypersexual drive towards both male and females. The male equivalent is satyriasis. Only about 3% of the population are considered nymphomaniacs.

O: Orgasm

A.K.A ‘The big O’; ‘The little death’. Defined as the peak of the sexual response cycle, orgasm is the release of sexual tension via rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvic region accompanied by neurochemicals such as oxytocin and endorphins. Orgasms have multiple health benefits, from improving sleep to reducing uterine cramping when menstruating.

P: Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of maintaining multiple clearly-defined intimate relationships, whether from an outset with multiple participants or as a new component of a long-term monogamous relationship. Polyamorous, or open, relationships can be fulfilling and succeed in ‘multiplying the love’ once all partners involved are consenting.

Q: Questioning

In LGBTQIA+, the ‘Q’ can stand for queer or for questioning. Questioning your sexual identity/orientation or your gender can be a confusing time, when people may hesitate to use more definite labels. It can be tough to interrogate societal stereotypes surrounding gender and norms, but ultimately incredibly liberating.

R: Rim Job

This is pleasuring a partner by performing oral sex on their anus. It would be advisable to check with your partner first if this is okay before diving in.

S: Sex-Positivity

Sex-positivity is a philosophy centred on the idea that freedom of sexual expression between consenting adults is a human right, and essential to any liberation philosophy. It counters the idea that sexual expression (especially heterosexual expression) is patriarchal, hierarchical or oppressive. To be sex-positive is to engage consciously in your own sexuality and to respect other people’s sexuality and sexual experiences (e.g. the LGBTQIA+ community, sex workers, consensual BDSM,  assault survivors, etc).

T: Toys

Sex toys are objects or devices designed to enhance sexual pleasure. There are no safety regulations in the sex toy industry, so do your research into body-safe companies before you buy, and always keep ‘em clean and sanitary.

U: UTIs

Urinary tract infection – what’s not to love? Symptoms include a burning sensation when you urinate and the need to pee frequently (with little coming out). Peeing after sex significantly reduces your chance of infection, and word on the street is you may be able to get rid of a UTI is to flush it out by drinking lots of cranberry juice. If not, see your doctor. And, you know, pee after sex in future.

V: Virginity

Just as the definition of sex is different to different people, so too is virginity. It can mean more than simply never having had penetrative sex. For example, some people may see oral sex as losing virginity if they are not hetero. Virginity can also be seen as a cultural myth rooted in preoccupations with purity and patriarchal control over women’s bodies.   

W: Wet

The natural lubricant a woman’s body makes when sexually aroused – making her ‘wet’.

X: X-Rated

Anything marked ‘x-rated’ is intended for adults and sexually explicit.

Y: Yeast Infection

While yeast infections in the genital area are common in women, men can also get them. The main symptoms are itching, smelly discharge, and burning sensation when urinating. The most common treatment is antifungal medication. Causes include not changing your tampon regularly, having high blood sugar, wearing tight underwear, catching one off your partner, and using scented hygiene products.

Z: Friendzone

The ‘friendzone’ is an invention of toxic masculinity that rejects emotional intimacy between heterosexual men and women unless it also involves sexual intimacy.

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