“Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”
The 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally could be my favourite movie. Written by Norah Ephron and directed by Rob Reiner, it was a critical and a commercial success at the time of its release. This is deserved; Ephron was nominated for an Academy Award for her screenplay (but unfortunately didn’t win) and the consensus was that the movie was “often funny”, according to the New York Times. Famously, it stars Billy Crystal as Harry and Meg Ryan as Sally.
Even though the consensus was positive on its release, I am disappointed by the lack of analysis of the movie, especially given its vast popular appeal and its placement in the hearts of people around the world. I can only find very few critical analyses of the screenplay, acting or cinematography. Upon learning this, I decided to take matters into my own hands: I would have to write my own analysis of the film, for my own use and for the general public’s .
Firstly, the theory of ‘only connect’, which is very applicable to When Harry Met Sally. The theory is quite simple; every action that the character undertakes connects them to the other characters in the story. In Nora Ephron’s case, the screenwriter and the movie. This idea of ‘only connect’ is summed up in E.M Forster’s novel Howard’s End:
“Only connect! That was her whole sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either, will die.”
Essentially, every action that Sally or Harry makes will only help to connect them, the action of the movie and the relevant supporting cast.
Characters
The characters in the movie give the story the flow it needs, which is partially why I love it. First, Sally Albright, an uptight, fresh-faced college graduate who agrees to drive Harry Burns from university in Chicago to New York to begin their lives. The film opens with Harry kissing goodbye to his girlfriend, Sally’s friend, Amanda Reese. Sally pulls up in her car, coughs to let the kissing couple know that she is there and honks when Harry will not hurry up. This sets off the chain of events which will bring me to my final point.
Harry and Sally begin their 18 hour road trip to New York turbulently as Harry questions Sally about her future and they appear to disagree on every topic they discuss – specifically the movie Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1942). They stop at a diner where Harry orders the number three and Sally orders the chef salad with oil and vinegar on the side, and the apple pie à la mode. However, Sally wants the pie heated; she doesn’t want the ice cream on top, she wants it on the side and she wants strawberry instead of vanilla – if they have it, and if not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, unless it is out of the can in which case she wants nothing, just the apple pie cold. This is the first true difference we see between the two of them. Sally doesn’t eat between meals and, as we have seen earlier, she is a picky eater which may convey that she is narrow-minded and stubborn, and she is extremely organised (she has days-of-the-week underwear).
Sally’s transformation in the film is intriguing to watch, she learns to let go, we see her five years after the diner incident kissing her boyfriend Joe (Steven Ford – President Gerald Ford’s son). We can see here that she hasn’t changed but if we jump five years ahead, we see a different Sally. Friends with Harry, she passes off the comment she made about Ingrid Bergman leaving Humphrey Bogart. This moment marks quite a big transformation, we are shown her as the woman who wants what she wants, and that she is unable to see eye-to-eye with Joe, with whom she breaks it off. This is where Harry comes in.
Harry Burns is a funny character to watch on screen. He appears spiteful and arrogant at the beginning, but we can also see him as a laid-back college student. He marries a lawyer, Helen Hillson (she keeps her name), but when Sally breaks up with Joe, Helen divorces Harry due to her ongoing affair. Harry falls into a deep depression, which is something that I will touch on in the ‘only connect’ section.
Harry makes a pass at Sally and, when she declines, he states that men and women cannot be friends. The scene is repeated again, five years later, on a plane when both are in relationships. However, after his divorce Harry appears to change, just as Sally does after her break-up. He seeks a friend for what appears to be a comfort but, at a New Year’s party, Harry and Sally realise they actually love each other.
Marie, played by Carrie Fisher, is Sally’s friend in New York. She appears to be both a match-maker but she is also a hopeless dater. She gets involved with married men and states: “I don’t think he’s ever gonna leave her,” twice within the space of fifteen minutes in the film. Fortunately, along comes Jess, Harry’s friend in New York, and the two marry after an interesting double date. I’d recommend watching this scene on YouTube, as it is both hilarious but also deals with the ‘only connect’ theory.
The Importance of a Supporting Cast
The supporting cast ranges from Amanda Reese to cute interludes of unknown elderly couples talking about how they met; the partners chosen for the film are real and, well, that just about finished me off.
The supporting cast, as great as Harry and Sally are, are the ones who push the film. Fisher’s performance as Marie is both equally powerful as it is emotionally-charged. Her quick exit when Sally begins talking to Harry in the bookstore displays both Fisher’s comedic timing, but also conveys her role as the match-maker in the film. Marie also is the first to find out about Sally and Harry sleeping together, which makes her perfect for the connections within the film.
Ephron appears to emphasise the supporting cast, which is rarely done in film today, contemporary procedure being a detailed character study of one or two main characters who are often defined by their supporting cast members. Yet, in this film, the supporting characters have much the same depth as the main characters; supporting personalities, and the help they offer, are explicated in scenes such as Marie giving Sally dating advice about Harry, and Jess just listening as Harry rambles on. Marie can be seen changing throughout the film, as she goes from dating married men to getting married to Jess. By giving the supporting cast a back-story, Ephron is placing the emphasis on everyone in this film. Yes, it is about Harry and Sally, but she also wants to convey the normality of the couple so that we can see ourselves in Harry or Sally.
This level of identification with both characters is something that is rarely seen in the great romantic stories of all time, if you take, for example my favourite novel Pride and Prejudice, you see some of these plot points, but it is also unrealistic. We want to be Lizzy, or we want to be Darcy, but we cannot truly see ourselves as Lizzy or as Darcy.
It is nice to see Ephron’s comedic touch shine through. When Harry Met Sally is the usual story-line for any romantic comedy, but flipped on its head by the fact that, thought Harry and Sally are so clearly made for each other, they need time to figure themselves out, which is seen in the final act of the film.
‘Only Connect’ and When Harry Met Sally
Applying this theory does not necessarily work for every book or movie. The growing trend of action-packed, plot-driven forms of media mean that this slow-moving theory can feel outdated. If one analyses When Harry Met Sally, one can see that the film is quite slow-moving. Yes, Ephron and Reiner decide to skip on twelve years in quick succession within the first forty minutes, but the general character study takes the full ninety-eight minutes or so that is the film. Why is this a good thing? There are three main answers to that question. Firstly, it keeps the viewer interested to see where the film is going to go, secondly it allows the viewer to see themselves in either Harry or Sally or both. Finally, it allows for a satisfactory ending, the viewer finds out that every loose connection in the film fits the ending and each action the character undertakes in the film serves to connect them.
Now I will delve into the film to show you the different actions characters undertake in the film that eventually serves to connect them. We see Sally being friends with Amanda Reese who is going out with Harry who introduces Harry to Sally. We see Sally going out with Joe who lived in the same apartment complex as Harry. We see Sally and Joe kissing at a departure gate, much like Harry and Amanda in the opening scene which shows that that short spell of love will depart soon.
Other connections that can be seen are quite good. The cute couples I was talking about lead to the end of the film; when Harry and Sally get married, they get interviewed like the couples on the couch. Harry and Sally eventually, a year after they realise they love each other, finally get together at the end of the film at a New Year’s party.
But what brings about the final connection? This is seen when Harry, finally, realises he loves Sally. He loves Sally because she is different to him. He declares all the things he loves about her and she can finally see that unlike Joe, Harry can accept her for who she is. All the quirks we see about Harry and Sally over the course of the film make the pair perfect for one another: Sally checking the mail before putting it in the mail-box; Harry reading the last page of the book first so he knows how it ends in case he dies without finishing it and Sally ordering food the way she does.
When Harry Met Sally stays with its viewers; it feels ageless. The film is thirty years old this year: Meg Ryan hasn’t aged, Billy Crystal has and, unfortunately, Carrie Fisher and Nora Ephron are no longer with us. The film still hasn’t aged to me.
The film is on Netflix – which means there is no excuse for you guys not to watch it every night before you go to sleep.
Now, remember this: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
