The TN2 Magical Matchmaking Service was designed to help willing singles meet someone new in a healthcare-guideline-compliant manner. We, as an editorial team, matched participants based on sexual-orientation, relationship experience, interests, turn-ons, turn-offs, and a bunch of other, relevant miscellaneous information besides. Not only did we get the singles to fill in an EXTENSIVE Google Form, but, once we had identified potential matches, we made them sit down and chat with us before we let them meet their potential new loves.
When I say ‘meet,’ I do have to remind you (though I’m sure the experience is seared into your memory) that we did enter Level-5 for quite a long chunk of the past semester. We gave the participants the option to either have a Zoom date with as much of a twist as we could manage, or, to postpone the date until we were allowed to hold it in person. Most of the couples opted for immediate Zoom dates (I imagine because they were fed up of seeing my name in their email inbox), and this couple is one who did just that…
Name:
James (J)*
Rebecca (R)*
Gender Identity:
J: Male
R: Female
Sexual Orientation:
Both: Heterosexual
Year:
J: 3rd
MJ: 4th
Faculty:
J: AHSS
R: EMS
What are three key qualities which you look for in a partner?
J: 1. Kindness
2. ‘Capacity for wonder.’
3. Humour
R: 1. ‘Someone who has a genuine zest and passion for life.’
2. Sense of humour
3. Confidence
What are your three biggest ‘turn-offs’ in a partner:
J: 1. Pessimism
2. Close-mindedness
3. Cynicism
R: 1. Interrupters
2. Liars
3. Show-offs
What are your greatest attributes?
J: ‘I like to think that I’m funny. I care deeply about the wellbeing of the people around me. I’m a good listener (is that a good attribute? I’m counting it!)’
R: ‘My confidence, patience, bubbly sense of humour, optimism and authenticity (I don’t know if that answers the question?)’
What are a few of your interests?
J: ‘Literature (esp. poetry), Irish language and mythology, video games, musicals, writing stupid reviews on Letterboxd, indie music, stupid comedy podcasts.’
R: ‘Baking, volunteering (it makes my soul feel good), cheese, and fine French wine.’
When were you last in a relationship?
J: 14 months ago (almost to the day)
R: ‘Last year.’
When did you last go on a date?
J: ‘October (but it was the first one I had been on since my last relationship).’
R: August.
Why do you want to take part in this process?
J: ‘The time to reflect and focus on myself over the first quarantine helped me finally put to rest a lot of the emotions that I was dealing with from my previous relationship and I’m ready to meet someone new. I’ve tried Tinder and Bumble, but honestly texting makes me kind of anxious and uncomfortable, especially when it’s someone new, so it’s not the ideal platform for me.’
R: ‘Lockdown has been pretty detrimental to my love life and this process would be an amazing opportunity to meet someone new (especially since hardly anyone’s in Trinity and the only library boyfriend that I have at the moment is a Covid-19 information poster!). I am excited to see what is to come.’
Do you believe that the Covid-19 pandemic has detrimentally affected your love life?
J: Yeah, throughout summer I lived in the middle of nowhere Meath and I don’t drive, so even if I had started texting someone, meeting up with them would have been almost impossible, so it felt like I couldn’t even try (on top of, obviously, not being able to meet up with people because of the Corona). Like I said above, it was just unlucky that when I felt ready to start dating again coincided with a global pandemic.
R: ‘Covid-19 has made my love life virtually non-existent.’
On a scale of 1-10 (ten being most keen, how keen are you to currently meet someone?
J: 9
R: 9
Why did we match James and Rebecca, you ask?
In the words of Chloé Mant, who interviewed James and Rebecca: ‘James and Rebecca are just the loveliest people. They’re both very genuine and enthusiastic and a joy to talk to. I really hope things work out between them.’
I won’t lie, just from reading James’s and Rebecca’s forms, I felt the same way! We were all rooting for them when the time came for their date!
Let’s see how the pair felt their date went when we caught up with them a week later…
What were your first impressions of your date?
J: ‘She seemed nice, if a bit quiet.’
R: ‘I thought he seemed like a really nice down to earth guy. He seemed chatty and easy to talk to.’
Did these impressions change as the date progressed? Is so, how?
J: ‘Not really, the conversation had started to pick up by the end, but not quite enough to fully change my opinion.’
R: ‘At the start it was a little bit awkward as it is on Zoom (but isn’t everything on Zoom a little bit awkward?). As the minutes ticked on, we started to ease into it and the conversation became a lot more natural. We actually had a lot of fun talking and getting to know each other. It was a pity how we were cut off at the end (but maybe it’s a good thing in case the date hadn’t gone well).’
Did you date live up to/defy any expectations that you had when signing up for the process. If so, how?
J: ‘To be honest, I didn’t have many expectations either way. I was trying to keep an open mind and not have any preconceived notions. I was slightly surprised to be paired with someone from EMS. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I just had a presumption that I would be put with someone else in the Humanities.’
R: ‘I honestly thought the process was amazing; really good fun. I didn’t expect it all to be so well organised and it definitely lived up to my expectations. I really hope that you keep doing this in the future for future years etc cause there’s nothing else like it in Trinity.’
Describe one thing you particularly liked/like about your date:
J: ‘Hearing her talk about her dissertation was really cool. I always love having someone explain something to me, especially if I have no idea what it is going into the conversation.’
R: ‘I liked how he was a good listener yet chatty and fun when he spoke about his own life and interests.’
Why do you think that you were matched with your date?
J: ‘Honestly, I’m unsure. Towards the end of the date, we both realised that we were quite into theatre so that may have had a role to play.’
R: ‘I think we were matched because we were both similar types of people – as in we were both chatty and not too intense!’
Would you like to see your date again? Why/why not?
J: ‘I wouldn’t mind seeing her again, but I wouldn’t be devastated if it didn’t happen.’
R: ‘Yes, but maybe more as friends and post lockdown would be a bit better.’
What is the current status of things between you and your date?
J: ‘We’ve texted a little bit, but not a whole bunch. Maybe just once or twice a day.’
R: ‘We are messaging.’
Could you see this status changing in the future? How? Why?
J: ‘Probably not. With these things, I find that it’s sort of like building a fire, you’ve got to put a lot of attention and fuel in at the start, or else it’ll just peter out.’
R: ‘I could see us becoming friends definitely if things were a bit more normal.’
Perhaps romance isn’t on the cards for James and Rebecca (*sigh*). On the plus side, though, it looks like they each might have found a lovely new friend from this process. We can’t thank them enough for getting involved!
Oh, and in case you were wondering how the pair felt that Covid-19 had impacted their date:
How did the Zoom format affect your date?
J: ‘It was definitely a bit strange. I find that I’m the type of person who does brief, one- or two-word quips and interjections which can sometimes be a bit jarring over Zoom. But honestly, it worked a lot better than I thought it would and would definitely consider Zoom dating with someone in the future, which was not something I would have considered before this.’
R: ‘Honestly I way prefer in person dates as Zoom lags a little bit and could be a bit awkward at the time. I would have preferred if we could have gone for coffee or lunch. However, given the circumstances it was definitely the best way to carry out the date and was something fun to do mid-lockdown.’
Do you think that your answers to any of these questions would be different if this process had taken place B.C. (before Covid-19)? How? Why?
J: ‘Maybe, but it’s really hard to say. I find (both from my own experience and from talking to others) forming new relationships online can be very difficult, especially in a romantic context where you’re not sure if you’re going to see them soon (or even this year). It can feel a bit fruitless. Whereas, if it had been BC, there would be the opportunity to just grab a quick coffee after lectures or the chance we’d both be on campus. I guess the lack of spontaneity makes things feel a little more forced. Though, it is really hard to say with any degree of certainty.’
R: ‘Yes, because I wouldn’t have taken part BC (before March) as I probably wouldn’t have had time between work, my course, friends, family etc. I think I am a lot more open to taking part in things and I am really glad I took part in this; it was such a fun experience and interesting process.’
*Names have been changed to protect the participants’ identities.
