Originally Published in Print, December 2021
Photo by Ellecia Vaughan.
To quote the Oscar-worthy, culture-defining 2006 film Mean Girls, “Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it.” Naturally, I heed Cady Heron’s words as gospel, as I recommend anybody should.
Furthering from this, then arises the challenge of actually committing to a costume, (or several, if you’ve decided to sacrifice your precious wages to purchase tickets into nightclubs where you definitely won’t remember spending €12.50 on a double vodka and cranberry). TikToks of potential costume ideas begin flooding your For You Page months in advance. My favourites tab is full of videos with a Thriller remix blaring in the background, captioned “Halloween 2021 costumes ideas that you’ve NEVER thought of ;)”, while Pinterest board pictures of angels, fairies, and Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction flash on the screen.
Personally, panic began to set in approximately a week before the day itself. I realised that the only costume I had to my name was a nurse’s costume I used for a murder-mystery party on New Years Eve four years ago, and a knotted blonde wig that was supposed to resemble Sandy Dee from Grease. My time was running out, and the looming sense of doom hanging over me was worse than the 2,500 word essay I had due that same week. Going shopping for a costume only set off more alarm bells. The atmosphere while walking through the Halloween shop in Stephen’s Green was one of tension and chaos. The only person I could truly relate to in this scenario was Katniss Everdeen. Both our fates would end in disaster— hers was death; mine, more dangerously, was the resurrection of that Sandy wig. After seeing that the options available to me consisted of costumes that took cultural appropriation to the next level, or Donald Trump masks, I realised I would have to look elsewhere.
Admittedly, when you think of Halloween costumes, Miss Fantasia’s sex shop on South William Street isn’t exactly the first place that comes to mind. But, lo and behold, this small (and kinky) corner of Dublin was my safe haven. After ringing the intercom at the door for permission to enter, my friends and I proceeded up the stairs; following close behind was an unassuming couple who were likely not looking for Halloween costumes. The sights we encountered were ones that would’ve made a 1930s Eamon DeValera cry if he knew such sexual liberation existed in his conservative Ireland. From poppers and vibrators to gimp suits, this shop supplied it all. I’d say let the tears pour – the women of Ireland were well and truly out of the kitchen, and looking for costumes.
After sifting through twenty versions of “sexy playboy bunny” and “hot waitress” costumes, I decided that yes, I would bite that originality bullet and be Miss Mia Wallace for Halloween. But, to add a unique aspect, I would make my version a slightly sluttier version, as an homage to the Mean Girls mentality.
Now, were there about twenty girls wearing black wigs, white shirts and leather pants in the Grand Social when we went out? Yes, but in the wise words of Clare from Derry Girls, “Ack Erin, I’m not being an individual on my own”.
In conclusion, I can’t wait for Christmas.
