WORDS Issy Thompson

1/ The deep V-neck

Low slung, unashamedly louche, this nipple-skimming t-shirt very nearly integrated itself into the sphere of conventional clothing. Luckily, the likes of Peter Andre, Ben from A1 and the entire cast of Jersey Shore jumped onto this bandwagon and signaled an early death for this budding trend.

2/ Male leggings aka Meggings

Despite the monumental influence of this bad-boy tween, he was incapable of persuading anyone that his white meggings were an acceptable form of clothing.

3/ Male UGGS aka Muggs

The public resistance to men wearing Crocs was nothing compared to the widespread dismay at the release of Male UGGS.  Luckily, it was a trend that was swiftly stamped out.  Ronnie Wood did it, so did Brad Pitt. Even Leonardo DiCaprio experimented with these fur-lined booties, teaming them with a tasteful purple tracksuit.  Let the failure of these A-Listers be a lesson to us all.

4/ The shirtless leather waistcoat

Inspired by Joey from Friends, Daniel Radcliffe donned a figure-hugging leather waistcoat, fastened with a chunky silver zip.  Radcliffe did not look particularly rock’n’roll, but more like an extra in Grease. The aforementioned waistcoat has not been seen in public again.

 

5/ Sheer

Excuse the sexism, but this is a look that should purely be reserved for the female form.  It will never be acceptable for men to wear chiffon, tulle, or any items that are remotely transparent.  Despite the trend forecasts, sheer-luxe for men will not become a thing.

6/ Suit jackets with shorts

Impractical, unappealing, this look seeks to reduce grown men back to their school days but without the cheek, the charm, or the innocent appeal.

7/ Tinted shades

A look favored by Justin Timberlake in his double-denim wearing days, these garish square-shaped shades came in an array of colours.

8/ Ostentatious belt-buckles

Thankfully, the days of novelty belt buckles no longer remain.  It will never be socially acceptable to have the word “pimp” scrawled across your crotch.

9/ The failure of the modern dandy

Oscar Wilde died in 1900. The days of the dandy are over.  Excessive elegance and an overtly sumptuous tastefulness no longer appear noble, but painfully contrived.

10/ The male sarong

Panic ensued when David Beckham stepped out sporting a sarong. Luckily, it was a time when Beck’s style was indisputably questionable, so thankfully he was incessantly mocked rather than imitated.