Everyone has trouble sleeping at some point or another. It can be due to stress, illness, or any number of different factors. Regardless of how long it lasts or how intense it is, not sleeping well can always be a problem. Some people simply push through these bouts of sleeplessness on their own, coming out the other side with no extra help. Despite my best efforts, I am not one of these people, and more and more often I find myself turning to my phone for help.
Anyone who has ever had trouble sleeping knows that the first tip given in every article is to put your phone down. Blue light, stimulation and all that sciencey stuff (can you tell I’m an arts student?). I’m one step ahead, you think. I know the tips. I know to turn screens off an hour before I go up to bed, to watch what I eat and drink before bed, to have a solid bedtime routine. I know all that. So, phone free, I lie awake in the darkness, head racing and heart thumping, longing for some sort of distraction. This is where sleep stories come in.
Over lockdown, I wasn’t the only member of my family with sleep problems. My mam, sister and I all started to share a subscription to Calm, a meditation app. While it features meditations, physical exercises and even relaxing music, what appealed to us (and many other users) were the sleep stories. Ranging from twenty to forty minutes in length and featuring a variety of narrators, sleep stories are designed to be entertaining enough to distract you and soothing enough to lull you to sleep. There is a wide range to choose from: some travel stories, some narrative stories, some aimed at children. In one, an owl professor (yes, you read that right) discusses – at great length – the history of the semicolon. In another, a softly spoken Kirby Howell-Baptiste reads an extract of Roald Dahl’s Matilda in which the children learn their times tables. In one of Calm’s most popular stories, Harry Styles describes wandering through a beautiful forest hand in hand with the listener. That may sound hyperbolic, but I promise that is literally what it consists of (and it’s excellent!) These celebrity stories tend to be behind a paywall. While some stories are available on Youtube or on the free version of the app, users have to subscribe to listen to the likes of Cillian Murphy, Harry Styles, and Laura Dern. A yearly subscription to Calm costs about €50, though they do also have sales and special offers throughout the year. If it sounds like something that might work for you, you can always try the seven day free trial or share a subscription with friends.
There are also plenty of free options out there, some of which I actually prefer to Calm (don’t tell Cillian Murphy.) One alternative is a podcast called Sleep With Me. Its host is a drawling, boring character called Dear Scooter (performed by Drew Ackerman) and, according to its tagline, it’s “the podcast that puts you to sleep”. It has hundreds of episodes dating back to the podcast’s creation in 2013. The premise remains basically the same as that of Calm’s sleep stories but with much more emphasis on the boring. Some of my favourite episodes are the story recaps. In these episodes, Scooter describes (very badly and with an excessive number of tangents) the plot of a movie or TV episode. Such episodes include The Good Place, The Great British Bake Off, and Lord of the Rings. One of my favourite episodes starts with Scooter describing – in detail – the various ties one character wears throughout an episode of The Good Place. He then moves onto explaining the complexities of philosophy and the concept of time. I was out like a light.
The episodes always follow the same structure, in an effort to create familiarity and comfort for returning listeners. Scooter begins with thanking the show’s sponsors and patrons, a segment which is vital in keeping the show free but also boring enough to not feel out of place. He then goes on to explain the show’s structure and premise, before finally beginning the story. I believe the episodes usually finish with Scooter thanking individual listeners but I’m not entirely sure to be honest, given that I’m usually snoring my head off.
The most obvious difference between these two podcasts is that Calm is a (mostly) paid app while Sleep With Me is completely free. Donations are possible, and encouraged, but not necessary. There is also the matter of time. If you’re generally an okay sleeper but need some background noise to drift off, then Calm’s shorter sleep stories would probably suit you well. By comparison, Sleep With Me’s episodes run to at least an hour. For me personally, there is also a more psychological element to the shows’ differences. Ackerman, the podcast’s creator, began the show due to his own struggles with insomnia and frequently references this origin in the episodes. Because of this, it is explicitly informed by insomnia and long, lonely nights. Where Calm is much more focused on relaxing and drifting off, Sleep With Me is more focused on keeping the listener company throughout “the deep dark night”.
It is this psychological reason that drew me back to Sleep With Me, having first discovered it in my early secondary school years. Without going into too much detail, I had a tough time of it this year, with some health issues (both physical and mental) leaving me unable to sleep. Suddenly, I felt panicky listening to Calm’s sleep stories. Harry Styles didn’t know that I couldn’t sleep. If I couldn’t fall asleep, he would keep whispering about holding my hand as I held back tears. Scooter, on the other hand, knew and understood what I was going through. There’s an explicit understanding in Sleep With Me that you are probably listening because there is something not great going on in your life. The goal of the podcast is not actually to lull you to sleep (although it certainly helps). The goal is simply for you to not feel alone. Scooter says this in every single episode. If you fall asleep, that’s great! Sweet dreams. If you don’t, then that’s okay too. Scooter and the podcast will be there to keep you company either way.
I know how awful and lonely it can feel when you’re not sleeping. So, if either of these podcasts sound appealing to you, consider giving them a go. Even if you try them and neither suits you, just remember that they aren’t your only choices. Sleep With Me actually has a section on their website with other resources if the podcast isn’t the right fit. Such options can be found at this link: https://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothanks.
I promise there are plenty of resources beyond the generic ‘no screens before bed’ lists. Whatever you decide on, sleep tight; I hope you find something to help keep you company during the deep dark night.
