It’s always hard to admit when you’ve been a fool.
During the production of TN2 issue 4 I sat down with two friends to take a scientifically flawed test. The two tasters were Ursula Dale and Liana Parachaki. Ursula admitted to not being a coffee connoisseur by any means, meanwhile Liana is a self proclaimed coffee addict who I have been known to criticise for her explorations with instant coffee… a claim I would come to regret.
What we were interested in testing not only which coffee place was the best, but if our intuitions about coffee held while we didn’t know what we were drinking. For this blind testing we selected eight popular shops from around Trinity:
Starbucks
Costa
Coffee Angel
Offbeat
Café Napoli
Dublin Barista School
The Arts Block Lavazza Machine
(and because we had it lying around in the office) Tesco Gold instant Coffee
We used americanos to put all of the coffees on an even playing field, and with rogues gallery assembled, we began tasting:
Starbucks (Founded 1971):
Coming in at three euro, Starbucks was the second most expensive of the coffees and is from the most successful chain of the bunch. Operating in 78 countries as of 2019, with 31,256 locations, 67 of which are in the Republic of Ireland. The corporation grossed 24.71 Billion in terms of revenue in 2018, so is its popularity justified, or is it just marketing?
In short Starbucks did not play well with the tasters with both participants describing the coffee as burnt and watery.
Ursula: 5
Liana: 4
Costa (Founded 1971):
Starting out in London Costa another global chain operating as a subsidiary of the Coca-Cola Corporation. With 3882 locations across 32 countries it would be an understatement to call the company successful, a fact that Liana would describe as well earned declaring it her favourite of the coffees.
In the test upon tasting it Liana exclaimed “That’s Costa!”. Both participants described it as the hottest, though it is important to remember that the Coffees were bought sequentially so while this affected the ratings it may not be true if you are picking up your daily dose of caffeine.
Ursula: 5
Liana: 8
Coffee Angel (Founded 2004):
Coffee Angel was the most expensive coming in at 3.10. Founder Karl Purdy describes his first day working at coffee angel thusly, “On St. Patrick’s Day, 2004 I stood alone on Howth’s East Pier and served Coffeeangel’s first coffee. I served 150 cups that day and was elated. Today that number stands at well over a million cups served and continues to climb”. So, as you can see the brand styles itself as a homegrown success, and successful it has been, with its Nassau Street location becoming a frequent haunt of many of the denizens of Trinity’s Arts Block.
Coffee Angel fared poorly, with our tasters describing it as watery.
Ursula: 3
Liana: 5
Offbeat (Founded 2016):
Offbeat is a doughnut shop, and also the cheapest of our options and offers a student discount of 10%. The value is also improved by the fact that not only is there a discount, but if you bring a keep cup you can get a free glazed doughnut for your trouble. The chain even sells its own beans so you know that someone likes the coffee. Its nearest locations to campus are on Westland Row and Westmorland Street.
Offbeat performed solidly with our tasters. Neither had much to comment, but both remarked that it was generally pleasant and mild.
Ursula: 6
Liana: 6
Café Napoli (Founded 2001):
Café Napoli is an Italian restaurant that I had been to once for dinner, but paid little heed since first year – until a lecturer of mine mentioned the quality of the coffee. Intrigued, I ventured to try their americano and it has since become my favourite place to grab a coffee. The aroma alone is beautiful and a touch bitter.
This bitterness hurt it in the taste test. The tasters commented positively on the smell, but they didn’t like the bitterness.
Ursula: 6
Liana: 6
Dublin Barista School (Founded 2011):
Dublin Barista School runs accredited barista courses. For 499 euro you can get a barista qualification by learning things such as farm to cup theory and milk chemistry… if that’s what you’re into. They also sell an americano for 2.50 (with student discount) which is on the cheaper end of our scale.
The americano we received did not go down well with the tasters. The coffee was described as strong and earthy, but also weird and watery.
Ursula: 4
Liana: 5
Arts Block Lavazza Machine:
1 euro coffee sounds too good to be true, but given this coffee is smaller than the others, can it contend?
Both tasters said that it wasn’t that strong and didn’t taste watery giving it solid ratings across the board.
Ursula: 7
Liana: 7
Tesco Gold:
We had to, it was just there, for free! 200g of this muck can be yours for only 2.49
Our Tasters described it as having a sour aftertaste.
Ursula: 5
Liana: 4
Feeling rather vindicated by these results I was interested in trying my own hand at the experiment, and this was where the problems began. For starters, after the instant tasting I had begun throwing leftovers in the instant batch, which I had completely forgotten. To add insult to injury I started to panic about looking stupid in front of my friend that I had berated for drinking instant. So afraid that my pretentious ego would be shattered, I berated all of the coffees, aside from one. I’ll let my evaluations speak for themselves, but all I can say is don’t be pretentious, it will only make you look like an idiot when you fall flat on your face. Stay grounded friends.
Starbucks 5
Costa 6
Coffee Angel 4
Offbeat 4
Napoli (this one hurts) 4
DBS 3
Lavazza 5
Instant 7
