Illustration by Ren O’Hare

If you’re anything like me, then the past few weeks of quarantine have probably blurred into one, indeterminate expanse of time. College essays and exams have actually been somewhat of a blessing, forming a series of tasks with compulsory deadlines, giving the days relative structure, whilst guising the overall duration of the quarantine period even after more than a month. College work has prevented me from finishing the entirety of the Netflix catalogue and distracted me from the fact that I’ve been away from most of my friends and family for really quite a long time. Now that I’ve finished exams, I’ve been hit with the reality that it’s going to be many weeks, if not months, before life reclaims even some sense of normality. 

 

I’ve also been hit with the reality that my relationship will be long-distance for a yet to-be-determined amount of time. If you’re also a serial monogamist, I’m sure you understand the sense of horror accompanying such a realisation. Even if you’re not, weeks and weeks apart from bae are probably not how you envisaged an ideal relationship. Not to fear! After turning, in relative despair, to my best friend at two in the morning the other night, I’ve comprised a list of activities to strengthen your relationship*, even whilst apart. Some you might have tried, but I’m sure there’s a fair few you haven’t. The following are tested by myself and my long-suffering significant other:

 

(*Note – these activities can be used to develop your relationship with your bestie as well as your bae.) 

 

Remember that time when you and bae used to go on dates?

Me too! Well, kind of – there’s only so much you can do with a limited budget and motivation… 

• Recreate your greatest nights out by laying the table, lighting a candle, ordering in some gourmet cuisine and getting boo to do the same. Start a video call, pour the wine, and voilà! Wining and dining at its virtual best.
• Alternatively, find a recipe you’ve always wanted to try, cook to the best of your abilities, lay the table and start the video call. Good news! If days spent locked at home have provided you with sparse small talk material, you two can argue about who is the better chef, and potentially laugh at your respective culinary disasters.
• Lazy girl edit: boil pasta in noodle form, strain, add seasoning/sauce/cheese as desired and (politely) inform bae that he must do the same. Open up your  webcam and re-enact the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp by dangling pasta as required to achieve the desired effect. Screenshot. If you’re feeling really lazy, skip the Lady and the Tramp part. You do you!

 

Remember that time when you and bae used to Netflix and chill?

Let’s face it – the only thing better than going out is staying in.

• Use Google Chrome to start your own Netflix Party. Watch your favourite films and TV shows in sync and discuss in real time. What you guys choose to do after the show ends is up to you… Who am I to stop you from clicking the next episode button?
• If the basic capabilities of the Netflix Party chat box annoy you as much as they irritated me and my significant other, why not start a Netflix Party using your phone (with headphones in) to voice/video-call as you watch.
• If you don’t subscribe to Netflix, or just fancy a change, use a video-calling app with screen-share to explore the wonders of YouTube, or any other non-subscription video content.

 

Remember that time when you used to be able to hang out with bae and your besties at the same time?

It’s so nice that they get along!

• Just start a group video call with you friends and your bf/gf/etc. Simple. 
• An undirected group video call can be intense/chaotic. Maybe assemble your group for a game night. Try online Cards Against Humanity, Skribbl, a Jackbox game (if you have access), or make someone Quiz Master, and finally get answers to all the burning questions you’ve had about your friends. Use relevant programmes in tandem with a video call app, utilising screen sharing as required.
• Alternatively, gather the group for a movie/video marathon, using Netflix Party or screen sharing apps as required.

 

Remember when physical contact was a thing?

At this point, me neither.

• Change your virtual background in your chosen video app (e.g. Zoom) to a photo of bae. Get your partner to do the same and experience the weirdest double date in history.

 

Remember that time when you and bae used to travel?

Or dream of travel…

•  Who says romance is dead?! Certainly not the couple who Zoom to Paris together. Bring the city of love (or anywhere in the world) to the comfort of your sofa by changing your virtual background to the landmark of your choice. You can even visit bae’s house using Google Maps/Earth and the good old screen shot.
• If you fancy staying closer to home, take your boo for a walk whilst video-calling. If the sun shines brightly enough, they may even get a tan through the screen. 

 

Remember that time when you and bae used to talk about the future?

Or avoided talking about it

• This one is not for the fainthearted, so try at your own risk. Use a screen-sharing enabled, video-calling app to build your own Sims family together. Experience the thrill of arguing over the colour of your sofa cushions as you decorate your shared home. Adopt a pet together. Woohoo together to produce a baby – the choices are endless. This game is a treasure trove (or minefield) of discussion topics and experiences to enjoy at your leisure – even whilst separated.

 

Remember that time when you just wanted bae to give you your own space?

Now you’ve got it, how will you use it?

• Wallow in self-pity. Understandable, but, please, only briefly. You’ll only make yourself more upset. It also seems a waste given that there’s so much else you could be doing with your time, like:
• Watching T.V.
• Exercising (don’t hate me!)
• Enjoying the sun
• Dancing around the house
• Baking cookies
• Literally hundreds of other things
• Start a project. No need to take radical actions. You could try painting, reorganise your room, or read a book you’ve always wanted to.

 

If you miss bae whilst doing any of these things – no worries! Call them and get them involved! The best bit is, if you’re baking, there’s no need to share the treats you’ve made; if you’re doing something artistic, you can completely ignore the suggestions you don’t like, and hang-up if they’re starting to get really irritating.

 

All that’s left to say, really, is that with so many ways to enjoy long-distance dating, time will hopefully fly, and you’ll be out of quarantine before you know it. The list of what you could be doing – or not doing – is endless and potentially overwhelming. Don’t panic – just do  

what’s right for you (and bae) at the time, and make sure you keep in touch with each other.