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“I am Al Dawes. I am disgusting.”
Erin McGathy’s Al Dawes F***ing Loves You was initially framed as a stand-up comedy special by comedian– Al Dawes, also played by McGathy. McGathy depicts the self-hating comedian to great effect, dressed in plaid, manspreading across the stool, and swigging beer mid-sentence. It plays out like a candid, unpolished performance, with Dawes constantly jumping between bragging about his former successes (including a Netflix special), and describes the downfall of his relationship with his former girlfriend and fellow comedian, Johanna.
It’s clear from the start that we aren’t getting the full story. Although he ruminates over his many flaws, from being “rubbish at sex” to his insecure jokes, he pins most of the blame on the break-up on Joanna and her suspicious behaviour in relation to men in her improv troupe. Additionally, his anecdotes are interrupted by shifting lights accompanied by a female voice over the speakers, asking why Dawes/McGathy insists on doing this. There’s something off-key about the critical way Dawes talks about Joanna, eventually culminating in him describing the night that they broke up which involved him throwing a glass at a wall in a jealous rage, calling her names, and finally telling her that he would kill himself if they broke up. If these behaviours sound familiar, it’s because they’re all serious red-flags for an abusive relationship.
It’s soon revealed that we aren’t seeing Al Dawes at all, but ‘Joanna’ herself, and that the piece is based on events that happened in McGathy’s own life. It is a thought-provoking piece of theatre wherein a woman goes to extreme lengths to understand her abuser by literally putting herself into his shoes – getting up on stage and unpacking the relationship from his perspective. She soon realises, however, that these attempts are futile, and that she doesn’t need to go to these extreme lengths to justify his treatment of her.
McGathy delivers a strong performance. The emotional climax of the piece comes when she simply wipes away the make-up and takes off the costume so that she stands before us in her own grey dress and black tights–which featured in Dawes’ description of her attire on the night they met. Though the comedy was somewhat inconsequential, what was left was an honest and liberating piece about letting go of trauma and accepting that whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault. A needed reminder for the one in five Irish women who, according to Women’s Aid, have been abused by a partner.
As the lights initially went down before the show began we could hear McGathy’s inner monologue over the speakers as McGathy wondered if it was contrived or cliche to examine and unpack her emotions through a piece of performance art. But, she eventually concluded, “I suppose it is the Fringe”.
“Al Dawes Fucking Loves You” by Erin McGathy, presented by Mob Theatre Dublin, ran at The New Theatre as part of Dublin Fringe Festival 2019.
