Where the Wild Twinks Are

While watching the finale of Channel 4’s Cucumber — a new gay drama filled with sex-addled blonde boys having threesomes and being pursued by put-upon older men — I had a potentially devastating realisation. In the world of the show, I’d be relegated to the pile of undesired oldies, practically cast aside by the type of characters who, as a rule, don’t fuck guys who’ve passed their twenty-first birthday. Was I no longer a twink?

When I was younger I definitely thought I was, and I knew I wanted to be one. Images of romanticised lost youth, carefree sex and great hairstyles filled up my browser history as I tried to mould myself into an ideal skinny, tanned, and clean shaven boy. Nowadays I don’t think I feel a desire to be considered a twink, even getting annoyed when friends infer that I am only attracted to such men. I do however still want to be desired, and for a long time in my mind being described as a twink was synonymous with that. I recently felt a sense of loss when I was told that I didn’t fit the definition anymore, that “it’s more for teens” and cool hip Twitter boys.

The term itself can mean a lot of things to different people, and growing up for me it meant young, fresh and sexy. On the other hand, Bravo host Andy Cohen was infamously roundly criticised by some sections of the gay internet for describing One Direction as twinks. He later clarified somewhat, saying that by using the term he meant that they looked attractive and apologised for any offense caused. The word is one of many in the gay community used to denote a man’s look, personality and physique. These categorisations have been around for a long time, playing into an obsession of classifying absolutely everything and making it seem impossible to talk about gay men without using shorthands like bear, power bottom or new favourites otter and twunk (for those not in the know, an otter is like a hairy twink while a twunk has the youthful face of a twink but the ripped gym bunny body of a hunk). These words were born from the highlighting of differences between people, which isn’t something bad in itself, but for many young men the problems start when other qualities are attributed to the word. When you’re a young man and find yourself thrust into the middle of a culture that tells you that these words are essential and that your discomfort with them is meaningless, its easy to feel hapless in the face of other aggressive interactions, whether that be getting felt up in a club or just everyday body shaming language.

Removing any notions of conventional attractiveness from the equation, the word for some also carries reference of being self absorbed, vapid, submissive and unintelligent. “I hate the people who use it, I don’t think it’s a good identity,” said one of my friends. “When someone tells someone they’re a twink they’re just trying to create a masculine identity by juxtaposition.” This othering can be seen everyday on grindr, with headless toned torsos constantly purporting that they’re “masc4masc” and not into twinks. This weird dichotomy of both dislike for younger looking guys and a desire to create a persona for themselves can result in older or muscular men objectifying younger or skinnier ones, creating the twink stereotype in doing so.

Another friend believes that there’s an element of protesting too much when it comes to distain for twinks. “It’s often older men whose masculinity is very important to their identity and who act like they have power over younger-looking guys. I think this comes from the fact that they are still very stuck inside the gender binary and do not consider them ‘as much of a man’ as they are.” Some porn plays with this, and can treat younger guys in an aggressive way, almost punishing them for not reaching the conventional forms of masculinity. Terms like “hatefucking” and sites like “Terrorised Twinks” denote a violence exclusively targeted towards younger men reminiscent of sexual violence at times displayed in straight porn against women. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to younger men who display particular attributes you find desirable, and lots of friends I talked to particularly emphasised that they preferred men with no chest hair and a physical smoothness. Once you ascribe certain roles and prejudices towards a whole swathe of people, don’t be surprised if they aren’t too impressed with your clumsy, patronising advances and choose instead to get with boys who’d fuck them be they a “twink” or not.

 

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