UPPERS

Buzz cuts: With Gisele Bundchen working a dramatic, albeit computer-generated, crop in the much-buzzed-about (I’m sorry) campaign for Balenciaga’s fall collection, and Charlize Theron owning her dystopian ‘do in the trailer for Mad Max at Comic Con, it looks like buzz cuts may be the fashion world’s next big thing.
We Are Your Friends: Catfish’s Max Joseph will direct Zac Efron and Blurred Lines babe Emily Ratajkowski in this “DJ movie” set inside “the world of EDM”. This entire project sounds ridiculous and potentially incredible.
Fapworthy: Pornhub are mad geniuses, you guys. Following their campaign to save the environment with “Big Dick” videos and their addictive live search stream, they have created an Upworthy parody porn site, perfect for those of us who can’t enjoy porn unless we’re being emotionally manipulated by clickbait headlines, e.g.:

No Black Person is Ugly: In this powerful track off his upcoming mixtape, the amazingly-titled Ultimate Bitch, Lil B slams racism, police brutality, rape, domestic violence and Western beauty standards. Thank you, Based God.

Gay Men Draw Vaginas: A San Francisco-based visual art duo are crowdfunding a coffee table book of drawings from their “public vagina project”. The book will be divided into a “monsters” section, an “80’s vag” section and a “mystery” section, and they hope it will bring up questions such as, “How do people respond to discomfort or ambiguous expectations through art?”, “What are the preconceptions we may have about what a ‘gay’ man is or thinks?”, and “What are prevailing ideas or archetypes we layer on body parts — women’s bodies, in particular?”.

How to Have Cybersex on the Internet: Literally everything about this 1997 instructional video is perfect. Just watch it:

DOWNERS

Spanx jeans: Nope.
Katy Perry, Queen of Cultural Appropriation: From her “yellow face” Geisha performance at last year’s AMAs, to her “blaccent”, cornrows and gelled-down baby hair in her most recent video for This is How We Do, accusations of cultural insensitivity have followed Perry throughout her career. She addressed the criticisms in this month’s Rolling Stone: “I guess I’ll just stick to baseball and hot dogs, and that’s it. … Can’t you appreciate a culture? I guess, like, everybody has to stay in their lane? I don’t know.”
Justin Bieber for CK: Pop music’s most insufferable brat has landed an underwear contract with Calvin Klein. Following their #mycalvins Instagram campaign and the Re-Issue Project starring Lottie Moss (recalling her sister’s 90s campaign for the brand), Calvin Klein seem to be capitalising on nostalgia for their iconic 90s logo-based aesthetic. Will they attempt to recreate the magic of Marky Mark with the Biebs?

Big Bang actors seek million-dollar paychecks: The cast of The Big Bang Theory are refusing to film unless they get $1mil per episode, a significant increase on their current $325,000-per-episode salary, and the same fee the cast of Friends earned per episode in 2002. Do they think The Big Bang Theory is as good as Friends? Do you?
ScarJo’s new hair: Johansson’s hair is now shorter than it used to be. It is also, unfortunately, yellow.

Bro-centric wearable tech: That’s right, bros, you can now stay connected with your bros via Snaptrax, a voice-controlled snapback that allows you to make calls, send texts, Google search, and shuffle your #BEASTMODE playlist, hands-free.