So, let’s talk about bisexuality – in a real way, without some glib quotation by a gross-ass filmmaker that was tired by the time I came out back in ’02.

Firstly, waaay back in 1948, Dr. Alfred Kinsey (Irish interest sidenote: check out the movie Kinsey with Liam Neeson) published the first of the Kinsey Reports, ‘Sexual Behavior in the Human Male’. In it, we see the first iteration of the Kinsey Scale, which is our first documented account of sexuality as a spectrum. The Kinsey Scale ranges from 0 (exclusively heterosexual in behavior and desire) to 6 (exclusively homosexual in behavior and desire), with most people falling somewhere on the spectrum.

With a basic understanding of the Normal Distribution, we can assume that true zeros or sixes would be rare enough. Although, as always, where stats can be used for evil, they are. There’s this myth – all women are, on some level, bisexual, and that men aren’t ever bi, they’re just deluding themselves on the way to coming out as “properly” gay. Aside from the erasure of nonbinary and trans people in this gross narrative, which clearly connects to straight cis-male biases, it is a total myth that has been contradicted by studies that have confirmed the existence of bisexual arousal patterns in both men and women. Kinsey’s work was later added to by Michael Storms in the 1980s, who added a Y-axis to the spectrum to account for asexuality, and Klein in the 1970s, who wanted to ensure that scientific sexology also accounted for the fluidity of sexual desire and expression over people’s lifetimes.

There’s a lot of misunderstanding about bisexuality and bisexuals, and I’d like to set some of those records straight.

1. No, bisexuality is not always concurrent with polyamory. Sometimes, sure, but bisexuals are as capable of putting in the work and commitment to make a long term, monogamous relationship work as is anyone else.

   Similarly, bisexuals are not more promiscuous than monosexual people, and this is a myth that can lead to a great deal of sexual violence against bi people. A 2010 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 61.1% of bisexual women had experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared with 35% of straight women and 43.8% of lesbians. Cast your mind back to the ugliness of the responses to the abuse actress Amber Heard suffered at the hands of her ex-husband, and you’ll see a vivid example of this.

2. The ‘bi’ in bisexual doesn’t automatically infer a gender binary. The ‘bi’, as in two, refers linguistically to the idea of having both hetero- and homosexual attractions, and is generally used to refer to attractions independent of the gender of the person you’re into. Pansexual (‘pan’ as in ‘all’) can mean the same thing, and I’ve seen the terms used interchangeably.
3. Bisexual people are not straight when they’re in a straight relationship and gay when they’re in a gay one. We’re queer, no matter what. It’s like werewolves.

   Werewolf: I’m a werewolf.
   Person: OK but when you’re in human form you’re a human, and when you’re in wolf form you’re a wolf though.
   Werewolf: No. I’m a werewolf. Human form = werewolf. Wolf form = werewolf. Always a werewolf. No matter the circumstance or appearance, I AM ALWAYS A WEREWOLF.

   Fact: bisexuals are also werewolves.

4. There’s no such thing as “straight passing privilege”. It’s called invisibility and it’s alienating af. It’s choosing between letting people deal with their assumptions (and being potentially closeted by their assumptions) or coming out all the time, over and over. Privilege, my ass.

Due in part to the stressors of dealing with these myths, bi-phobia, and bi-erasure, bisexual people are known to be more likely to struggle with mental health issues than heterosexual or homosexual people. How often have you heard why can’t you just make up your mind, rather than trying to have your cake and eat it too? It’s frustrating and gross.

If you are bi, bi-curious, or just straight-up curious (ha!), you can look up more information, mythbusting, and community at https://bisexual.org/ Trinity’s LGBTQ society. QSoc also has resources, and the LGBT-RO this year, Noah O’Brien is an absolute dote.

And, as Callie Torres, the gorgeous bisexual Latina from Grey’s Anatomy once pointed out, the B kind-of does stand for badass – never forget it!