●●●●○
Confronting consent and sexual assault head on, Asking For It?: Reality Bites forces Irish society to question how we view these issues while simultaneously educating and keeping audiences entertained. Having already written a number one bestseller on the topic, the seminal Asking For It, author and Trinity graduate O’Neill tackles sexual violence head on in this televised special. Unlike in lecture theatres or cinemas, viewers are confronted with the harsh reality of this subject matter from the corner of their sitting room. O’Neill’s no nonsense approach is both refreshing and necessary. The Stanford Rape Case and even the introduction of Trinity Hall consent workshops are covered, illustrating changing and increasing media coverage. This is a documentary that highlights Ireland’s skewed view of sexual assault and what is being done to bring about change.
The documentary is largely comprised of interviews with a wide variety of individuals. Victims and support workers are approached, as well as legal staff and media. We saw the topic of consent from many different angles in a completely Irish light. Everyday examples of society’s entrenched culture of rape and sexual assault are given, from slut shaming to prison rape and ultimately doubting victims. The most painful example of this culture is without doubt the titular notion of ‘asking for it’. When interviewing American activist Kate Harding, audiences discover how communities worldwide react to sexual assault. When faced with a crime as horrific as sexual assault, it is easier to make excuses and lay the blame on the victim. The perpetrator, often an individual who is known in the community and well liked, is difficult to see as a rapist and a monster. Hearing these words spoken out loud by a prominent women’s rights activist drove the point home. We cannot afford to sit back and be complacent. We cannot wait for others to make the changes. We must do everything we can to change the cultural biases evident in Irish society. Harding defined our current society as ‘a culture that supports the needs of rapists more than the needs of victims’. It is a hard truth.
Niamh Ni Dhomhnail, a victim of sexual assault who waived her right to anonymity, told her story of sexual assault from a very personal perspective. She spoke courageously on camera. As a young woman who was raped multiple times by her long term partner, Niamh spoke openly of the shame and guilt she felt due to society’s incessant questioning. ‘How did this happen? How did you let this happen?’ Questions that, when re-lived by Ní Dhomhnail, would disturb even the most uncaring viewer. At this point in the documentary, O’Neill reinforced the belief that we must stop looking to the victim for questioning. Instead, we must turn to the perpetrator and they must be the ones to face society’s disbelief and interrogation.
The documentary was truly brought to life by O’Neill’s presence and honest discussion of her own experiences as a student in Trinity. These experiences are ones current students could easily identify with. O’Neill discussed the liberation she felt upon coming to college and discovering her sexuality. It was shocking to learn that someone so well informed as O’Neill was in her mid-twenties before hearing about ‘consent’. I am heartened to see that the profile of consent has been heightened further in this documentary. O’Neill also addressed the negative backlash she receives on social media when posting about feminist issues.
Lynn Ruane, TCDSU president at the time of filming, is interviewed and her article in the Irish Times about ‘why she thought we needed to talk about consent’ is discussed. My mind was drawn back to last year when the news of the Trinity Hall consent workshops hit the media. As a co-facilitator for these workshops I was pleased to see that O’Neill covers the introduction of these workshops to Halls by the TCDSU, while also touching on the criticism received as a result. Comments such as ‘not all young men are rapists’ were made. Ruane was of the opinion, as am I, that the negative backlash to the workshops highlighted that few people understand the broader concept of consent. In response to her article, Ruane was bullied, shamed and insulted by members of society, many of whom were women themselves.
You must give this documentary a look. If I could make every student in the country watch it, I would. Louise O’Neill’s frank and thought-provoking documentary demonstrates just how much we need to educate ourselves on the issues raised. O’Neil poses a demand; Irish society must give serious consideration to what can be done to bring about a new culture free from slut shaming, blame laying and rape culture. This documentary is an example of just how powerful a TV programme can be.
Asking For It: Reality Bites is available on RTE player before December 1st.
